Okurimono
by Rei Kurasaki
Summary: Hakkai and Gojyo. Just before Christmas.


Warning: This fic is shounen-ai. Meaning boyXboy pairings. If you don't like it. Don't read it.  
  
~Okurimono~  
  
Gojyo  
  
Christmas is coming; in a matter of fact, Christmas is just about two hours away. Outside the snow is falling softly, covering the windowsill and the roads in a thick blanket of white. It is so peaceful, so very peaceful.  
  
I light a cigarette and light up slowly, watching the flame flicker. A slight movement breaks my ice-thin attention and I shift it to a tall lanky man sitting beside the window, looking out to the icy coldness outside. Our boots and coats are by the crackling fire, drying off.  
  
I inhale the smokiness of the cigarette and allow a smile to grace my face; it is a tension reliever, smoking. I resume my observation of the tall smiling man by the window. His tall lanky form hunches against the windowsill bracing against it. Damn. I shouldn't have used the word bracing; it makes me think of heaving and panting and sweaty muscular bodies intertwined together.  
  
I took another drag to clear my head and resume looking at him; he's like a drug, very enticing and seductive, without being aware of it. I'm drawn to his soft chocolate brown hair falling ever so softly over his eyes. His dark glittering emerald green eyes. I remember those green eyes; they haunted me since our first meeting. Those eyes that smiled at me so gently so peaceful even as he lay bleeding on the wet muddy ground. Yes.I do love his eyes.  
  
His eyes look so sad, looking out into the inky blackness outside, I wonder if he's thinking of Kanna. He must love her, I reasoned practically, or else why would he go through all that for her? I wonder about that a lot, then again, I also wonder about how his hair would feel like under my fingers, or how. Shook my head again and I yawned slowly, one hand going up lazily to make a half-hearted attempt at closing my mouth.  
  
I didn't get any presents for him; I wanted to but.I really didn't know what to get for him. He turns and smile at me, the curling slow smile that tear at me inside and make me want to tackle him on the spot and take him there and then. But no.he'll hate me for that, and we can't have him hating me ne?  
  
"Go and sleep Gojyo," He said, his green eyes glinting in amusement.  
  
"Yada."  
  
I was a stubborn mule wasn't I? Even Jien, iie, his name is Dokugakuji now, said so. But.what to do? It's hard to change; anyway I'm not really fond of change. He smiles, he's used to my airiness. His eyes grow soft for a moment before he turned his attention back to the falling snow outside. It's surprising how the little things make us appreciate each other even more.  
  
Vaguely I wonder what that damn monk and that baka saru are doing. A grin curls my lips as I remember the argument I overheard the other day. That damn monk and that baka saru had been too loud and I had "accidentally" overheard that saru telling Sanzo that he wanted to be on top for once.  
  
Shaking away that thought, I resume looking at the tall lanky man in front of me; he's so pleasant to look at. I wonder again, is he pleasant to touch? Is he all muscular and smooth? Or is he like that damn monk? All muscle and leather? Leather.hm.it would look good on him. Very good in fact, maybe I should have gotten something leather for him for Christmas. But, he didn't care for those things, he never did. I wonder what he cared about. Kanna?  
  
Then again.we don't need to have things to justify out existence ne? We exist as we are, and eventually we will die as we are. I ground out my dying cigarette and pick out another one.  
  
Hakkai  
  
Yuki. [1]  
  
It's falling hard I note somewhat absently as I look out the dark icy landscape before me. Was I like that once I wonder? After I had left Kanna, after I had killed so many. Was I like that? I don't remember, but I remember his blood red hair. It had seemed as though those red hair were a sign of my guilt. It was in a way, I guess.  
  
I resume looking at his reflection in the windowpane; he had picked out another cigarette and was smoking like a chimney, again. Usually I hated smoking, but for him.maybe I'll tolerate it. I wonder why?  
  
I take in his long red hair and flashing red eyes. Eyes the colour of sunset one oba-san use to say. The eyes that saved me from death, that saved me from insanity and the eyes that eventually saved me from myself.  
  
What are you thinking of Gojyo? I wonder, I wonder about you a lot sometimes, more that it is healthy I guess. I wonder why you love to show off to the women so much, I wonder how you can smoke so much and never cough, even once. And most of all, I wonder how you would feel like.  
  
Demo.yume no yume des ne? [2]  
  
I truly wonder what you're thinking about Gojyo. About me perhaps? No.that's almost too much to hope. I love your eyes Gojyo, do you know? Ah.Christmas is coming ne? I agree with you amicably, nothing to give my thoughts or feelings away. Almost an hour left I tell you. Sleepy red eyes look at me and I thought I saw something unreadable flicker in those liquid depths.  
  
I look away again as Kanna comes to mind; Kanna, with her beautiful sad brown eyes. Strange, but thinking of her doesn't hurt anymore, it has been reduced to a dull throbbing ache much like sexual frustration. You would like Gojyo ne Kanna? I smile at my reflection, although albeit sadly. I wonder how this would all end.  
  
Gojyo, why do you look so familiar to me? But of course I never ask you the question, I just continue smiling, so you know that I'm not thinking of anything. It's an auto mechanism you know. I didn't get you a present Gojyo, gomen ne. You look up, full lips curling into a pout. Why not? You ask. Because.  
  
I leave the question unanswered as I return looking outside. It's cold, like me. Am I really so cold? Can I feel nothing? Ah.but I feel you Gojyo, and I feel everything around you, your zest for life, you laughter and your smile. It's warm, iie, you're warm. To me, you're like my smoldering coal in an icy world. Smoldering coal. Kanna always said I was damn unromantic, I guess I am if I'm comparing you to a coal.  
  
I turn to look at you; you're staring at me. Detachedly I wonder why? You've never stared at me before, or maybe.I've never noticed. Hair so red it's the colour of blood, the symbol of my guilt. You're standing in front of me now; we're both in front of the window. It's still snowing you say. Ah.I agree, after all, I always agree. Just two more minutes I said smiling. I'm always smiling.  
  
Until you reach in and touch my face. Not expected. Definitely. But.it's pleasant in a way, your touch I mean. Merry Christmas you said before you lean in and kiss me lightly. Deep maroon eyes look into mine, as you broke apart. A cat-like smile curl around your lips, lips that I'm dying to taste again. Why do I need you so much Gojyo? Ah.maybe it's because you're my sunshine. Nice, warm and ever so comforting.  
  
Gojyo  
  
I kissed him. I definitely did, I can still taste him. Hakkai tastes.like tea and sake altogether, His startled green eyes look at me. I wonder if he hates me for what I've done. The smile is gone, now a serious Hakkai is facing me.  
  
Why? He asks me. I shrug for a moment before looking down at him and touching his soft brown hair. Because.I need him. He's the only stable element in my life; if he leaves.then I'll crumble and return to the mundane lifestyle of drinking, gambling and having sex all over again. Not that I have anything against sex, but after Hakkai, I wonder if I'll ever look at another woman again.  
  
Hakkai looks away, musing, perhaps contemplating what I've just said. He closes his green eyes and seemed to have dozed off when he opened them again. Those emerald green eyes, that seems to suck me into their earthly depths and pull at me in a strange manner.  
  
Merry Christmas he said softly, wait.what did he say again? I didn't get to ask my question when I saw him come up to me, planted both hand on the windowsill behind my back and kissed me back.  
  
My back was painfully pressed up against the wooden sill, but I wasn't bothered. Nope, not at all. He pulled away and smiled; that slow curling smile that seems to be so suggestive yet so innocent at the same time. I touched his face; at the same time his hand reached up and touched my hair. Strange, I don't hate my hair anymore. He smiles wistfully at my blood red strands, before brushing it behind my eyes. Your fingers are so cool, so gentle, like feathers brushing lightly over my face.  
  
You smile at me again. It's Christmas. Really? I ask, looking outside, it finally stopped snowing. Maybe.this will be a good Christmas after all. You smiled again before kissing me back and we both tumble into bed, with clothing flying all over the place. I run my hands over you, feeling clenched muscle and smooth skin. I was right; you were muscular and smooth, nicely formed.  
  
Then, your hands moved elsewhere and suddenly, the two of us, we exist as one. Only one. For the moment.  
  
Hakkai  
  
I can't really concentrate, with his deft hands roaming everywhere on my body, He is warm, warm and hot, definitely not like me, icy and cold. Your long red hair brushed again my cheek and I open my eyes to see you hunched over me, a smile on your full lips. I resist the urge to flip you over and take my place on top of you, but again, your wandering hands distract me.  
  
Your fingers trace the scar on my stomach, a slight look of pain on your beautiful face before leaning down to kiss me again. Its uncomfortable being at the bottom, I for one am not used to being in the uke role. Maybe next time I'll be in the seme role.  
  
I grab your face and smile, before wishing you a Merry Christmas. Ah.you reply, eyes full of lust and licked my stomach before coming up again. Merry Christmas you say, before you mouth stray downwards.  
  
Maybe.I was wrong. Being in uke position.maybe it isn't that bad after all.  
  
~Owari~  
  
[1] Yuki - Snow.  
  
[2] Demo.yume no yume des ne? - But.dreams are only dreams right?  
  
AN: Yatta! Finished it 5 minutes before Christmas! Merry Christmas minna! Wrote a Hakkai/Gojyo fic because.I can't write a Sanzo/Goku one. X_x Lime.NOT lemon. I can't write anything lemon. Although I would so like to try. XD 


End file.
